How can I lower fees when withdrawing from coinbase to wallet?

Tried posting this just now and got taken down for not being long enough, when I was trying to get to the point quicker for once in my life, but I'll have to waffle on now.

Anyway, sorry about that. Here's the question.

I understand, or think I understand, the gas fees involved when transferring to coinbase aren't charged by coinbase or in their control, but is there any option to reduce these fees by selecting more confirmations/lower transfer speed?

Or is it fixed and so high because it's not actually my crypto (not your keys....), so coinbase is sending me crypto and being charged the fees, but then recovering that fee from me? So coinbase chooses the fastest transaction speed and then recovers the gas fees they incurred back from me.

Really would appreciate if their was any solution to this, if not, just any more info I might be missing or could learn more about this topic would be great.